where do i even start? i feel so mentally drained. ive been very snappy at my family and i really dont want to be, but i cant control it. ive been always around my friends and one of them is toxic and wanted me to do bad things with them, and i didnt want to say no because i didnt want to lose her. i broke down and told my parents about it all. i feel better now that i did but i really dont wantto lose my closest friends.. im trying my best to keep myself up but its so hard.

I had two grandparents die in one school year,one in September the other 4 days ago.My other two died when I was little and I don’t remember them well.I just want everything to go back to the way it was last year when they where both alive.I just start to heal from the first death and then comes along another.I have no grandparents left meaning no more Sunday suppers,visits,hugs and kisses. I miss them so much.

i’m over 3 years self harm free but i keep almost relapsing. my graduation is coming up and i already feel ugly enough with the scars i have. i worry that i’ll relapse right before grad then i won’t wanna go.

I ´ m worried everyone hates me and everyone I ´ m close with is just using me to feel better about themselves. I ´ m a very boring person . . . I barely check my texts, I ´ m worried that my partner is losing feelings . . . i hate my life.

I am worried that:
-I will have no friends because of my BPD and ASPD
-Even after apologizing I will lose my closest friends
-I will feel this bad forever
-I will never find love
-People hate me
-I won’t get a summer job
-I’ll have a bad summer
-I won’t have friends to text or hangout with
-I won’t make new friends
-I won’t get into university
-I’ll be bored with my life
-I’m losing my other friends

the nl mental health system sucks because i went in for my clinical assessment and told them that ive been having graphic and very bad intrusive thoughts and that it’s impacting my daily life and i dont know what to do and my psychologist told me that i have OCD which i was so thankful that somebody finally understood me and took me seriously but then when i went in today and told them everything that happened they told me i just had generalized anxiety because my grades are high and people with OCD can’t pull off good grades. one of my intrusive thoughts are about my grades, actually, so if i dont get good ones they impact me. I’ve been told my entire life that i’m overreacting and that my feelings aren’t valid and that everyone has anxiety sometimes but people with anxiety don’t experience the things that i do and it hurts to know that i’ve been waiting 7 years to get this assessment to finally get diagnosed so my parents and teachers and friends will take me seriously but then all of my hard work is thrown down the drain because they refused to listen to me and talked to my parents about how they saw me instead. i’m all alone and i don’t know what to do anymore

i worry that my ptsd and anxiety will get worse

I’m worried that one day, I’m gonna kill myself and nobody is gonna notice or care. I hate it here, I wanna die so bad.

my classmates keep talking sh*t about me how do i get them to stop?

i worry that i wonrt be able to stop snotfing coxcaine?????