In a healthy relationship, the other person will:
Listen to you and take your feelings and ideas seriously
Talk openly and honestly with you about what matters to them
Never use threats of harm, violence or suicide to get his/her own way
Never hit, punch, kick, bite, slap, push or otherwise strike out in anger or jealousy
Not try to control what you do, where you go or who you talk to
Respect you, and say good things to you and about you
Enjoy spending time with you, and show it whether alone with you or in a group
Trust you, and earn your trust by keeping your confidences
Allow you to enjoy the activities and people that matter to you
Accept your limits about sexual activity, every time.
Keep your friendships and interests
Respect the right of your date or partner to set limits: “No means no.”
Do not tolerate any form of physical aggression including threats, slaps, pushes, pinches or punches
Know that violence is never the fault of the victim
Relationship abuse is a pattern of behaviour in a relationship. One person in the relationship uses abusive patterns to get power and control over the other person in the relationship. Sometimes the abuser might tell the victim that it is their fault, but abuse is never the victim’s fault.
If you or someone you know are experiencing domestic violence please call or text the province-wide, toll free Domestic Violence Helpline at 1-888-709-7090. This service is available 24/7.
Abuse in relationships can take many forms. It can be physical, sexual, emotional/mental/verbal, spiritual and financial and is under the umbrella of domestic abuse Domestic abuse can hurt any kind of person; it doesn’t matter what race, age, religion, social status, sexual orientation or gender you are.
Physical: Hitting, pinching, biting, blocking doorways, wrist holding, wall punching, etc.
Sexual: Coercing, not stopping sexual activity (even if one person said yes at first and than said no), using substances to coerce someone into having sex/initiating sex with someone who is under the influence of substances, unwanted touching or verbal harassment about someone’s body, sexuality, etc.
Emotional/mental/verbal: using insults or “jokes”, separation from friends and family, using jealousy as a controlling behaviour, guilt tripping, etc.
Spiritual: Making fun of, trying to change or diminishing someone’s spiritual beliefs
Financial: controlling and/or stealing someone’s money, bank/credit card, preventing someone from going to work or school, etc.
Everyone has the right to:
Express your opinions and have them respected
Make decisions about yourself and have equal decision-making power
Say “no” to physical closeness or any other activity that makes you uncomfortable, at any time, even if you originally said “yes” but now have changed your mind
Refuse a date at any time
Choose your own friends, and keep your friendships
Control your own money and possessions
Participate in activities that do not include your boyfriend or girlfriend
Have your needs be as important as the other person’s needs
Grow as an individual in your own way
Not have to take responsibility for someone else’s behaviour
Not be physically or sexually assaulted, or emotionally abused
Break up and fall out of love with someone and not be threatened or hurt