Back in the fall I was in a really dark place, I wouldn’t eat for days and when I did eat It would only be tiny portions of food. This wasn’t the first time I went through this, early 2022 I had the same problem. I was too afraid to tell anybody because I thought that people would think that I was just asking for attention. Luckily things got better after a while and I somewhat “recovered”. But lately I have started to feel as if I’m going to relapse, so as a way to try and stop myself from relapsing I have been eating too much. But as I’ve been eating so much the way I see my body is making me want to relapse more. I don’t want to tell anyone because they are going to think I’m being dramatic and asking for attention. And I don’t call it an eating disorder because no one will believe me and will make it worse. I feel so bad.
where do i even start? i feel so mentally drained. ive been very snappy at my family and i really dont want to be, but i cant control it. ive been always around my friends and one of them is toxic and wanted me to do bad things with them, and i didnt want to say no because i didnt want to lose her. i broke down and told my parents about it all. i feel better now that i did but i really dont wantto lose my closest friends.. im trying my best to keep myself up but its so hard.
I had two grandparents die in one school year,one in September the other 4 days ago.My other two died when I was little and I don’t remember them well.I just want everything to go back to the way it was last year when they where both alive.I just start to heal from the first death and then comes along another.I have no grandparents left meaning no more Sunday suppers,visits,hugs and kisses. I miss them so much.
i’m over 3 years self harm free but i keep almost relapsing. my graduation is coming up and i already feel ugly enough with the scars i have. i worry that i’ll relapse right before grad then i won’t wanna go.
I ´ m worried everyone hates me and everyone I ´ m close with is just using me to feel better about themselves. I ´ m a very boring person . . . I barely check my texts, I ´ m worried that my partner is losing feelings . . . i hate my life.
I am worried that:
-I will have no friends because of my BPD and ASPD
-Even after apologizing I will lose my closest friends
-I will feel this bad forever
-I will never find love
-People hate me
-I won’t get a summer job
-I’ll have a bad summer
-I won’t have friends to text or hangout with
-I won’t make new friends
-I won’t get into university
-I’ll be bored with my life
-I’m losing my other friends
the nl mental health system sucks because i went in for my clinical assessment and told them that ive been having graphic and very bad intrusive thoughts and that it’s impacting my daily life and i dont know what to do and my psychologist told me that i have OCD which i was so thankful that somebody finally understood me and took me seriously but then when i went in today and told them everything that happened they told me i just had generalized anxiety because my grades are high and people with OCD can’t pull off good grades. one of my intrusive thoughts are about my grades, actually, so if i dont get good ones they impact me. I’ve been told my entire life that i’m overreacting and that my feelings aren’t valid and that everyone has anxiety sometimes but people with anxiety don’t experience the things that i do and it hurts to know that i’ve been waiting 7 years to get this assessment to finally get diagnosed so my parents and teachers and friends will take me seriously but then all of my hard work is thrown down the drain because they refused to listen to me and talked to my parents about how they saw me instead. i’m all alone and i don’t know what to do anymore
i worry that my ptsd and anxiety will get worse
I’m worried that one day, I’m gonna kill myself and nobody is gonna notice or care. I hate it here, I wanna die so bad.
my classmates keep talking sh*t about me how do i get them to stop?
i worry that i wonrt be able to stop snotfing coxcaine?????
My mother won’t stop gaslighting me. She’s abused me since before I can remember and now I have severe PTSD. I am trying so hard to get out. It’s so hard.
im worried that i will never be truly happy ever again.
I want people to see that im not perecft nor are my grades they always assume that ill get the highest grades in class and they seem so surprized when they get higher then me on a test im not perfect. My metal health is at the lowest its ever been and im afraid my grades will drop becuase of it, if my grades drop then im afarid ill be seen as a faliure and i dont want that. I feel that im getting so close to sh again evem though i am just getting a bit better and have been clean for weeks .
I worry that I won’t be able to brake my alcohol addicton
i worry that everyone reading this is not smiling on this beautiful day! Hope everyone is. LOL! Ally! #BLM! #YouCanDoIt! #CatchYouTomorrow! #/srs
im worried about everything lol. im worried about if people are secretly judging me, im worried about why i get so angry and jealous easily, im worried that im gonna purge and eat everything i can and then throw it all up, im worried that my parents are gonna get annoyed with my mental issues, im worried i may hurt my sister one of these days, im worried that my partner loves someone else more than me, im worried that i may hurt myself badly….im worried about EVERYTHING and i can’t stop worrying!!! ;(
i dont feel anythin anymore
I have really bad stomach issues and I’ve been getting flu sick twice a month causing me to miss a lot of school. I really try to keep up with all the work but it’s just too much and It’s so hard when I’m confined to my bed or the bathroom. My average was a 97, the best it’s ever been and now it is down to an 89 because I have so many missing assignments and I’ve been getting 50s in math which has never happened before. The past two weeks I’ve been trying to get caught up but I got sick again and I genuinely couldn’t move at all. Now school starts back up tomorrow and I’m so scared. I have so much to do and no time left. I wish my teachers understood why I’m so behind. I can’t keep up and it takes me so much longer to do assignments compared to my friends. I can’t remember the last time I spent time with my friends because I’m constantly doing work after school and on the weekends. Let alone all the school I miss due to doctors appointments and therapy. The thought of school makes me want to throw up. I’m so burnt out and I dread every single day. I’m so lucky I finally have friends who support me and love me but I never get to do anything. I don’t even answer texts or snaps anymore. I’m just so sick of school and being sick all the time. It’s taking over my life and I don’t get to do anything I love anymore. My mental health is plummeting just as I was finally starting to do better. I haven’t seen my therapist in 3 months because every time I have an appointment I’m sick and we have to reschedule. And to make things worse I’ve been waiting to see a specialist for my stomach issues for years now and we finally got an appointment scheduled just for them to call us the day of saying they’re too busy and going to have to rebook it. I’m just so tired.
i worry that i could not stop my severe and violent drug addiction……/…111….