TW: SH, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, CURSING
Every thing sucks, my world keeps falling apart. Every time I try to come out to my mom “ YOU KNOW THERES MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST THAT ‘STUFF’.” And I’m tired. I can’t vent to anyone and my house has a tall drop from my room window to my concrete driveway, and every day I sit there wondering “should I do it?” My friends all joke about having in-diagnosed depression, I’m not joking about thinking I have it. I’ve been cutting for a year now using my nails and a toothpick for a bit, but now it’s my kitchen scissors.
I’m fucking disgusting and I don’t know how anyone can like me. I need to get help. But I can’t. My mom monitors my every move so I can’t talk about my problems except in person which is hard for me. Right now I just wanna die, but I’m more passive suicidal I’ll walk across the road and say “it would be so awesome if a car came and killed me.” But life fucking sucks.