“She should just kill herself”
Yeah. She thinks that too.
She thinks that on those late nights where she can just scream into her pillow blaming herself.
Blaming herself for something she never could’ve changed.
Screaming over and over,
All she can feel is the way she felt when her mother first told her.
But now it’s not a 7 year old feeling this way.
7 whole years later,
She still screams.
She still wishes it’s all a sick joke and he’s waiting on a porch somewhere.
She thinks that when she realizes she can’t remember what he smells like.
Nobody could believe the times that “it should’ve been me instead” have run through her head.
No matter how many times anyone says shes “such a sweet caring little girl”,
It will never be true to her.
Truth be told,
That sweet little girl died the day he did.
At least that’s how she feels,
As the days go by she believes it more and more.
She’s losing the motivation to do anything.
Its becoming harder and harder to be nice to the people she loves,
She hates hurting them like this but she can’t control anything.
Her life is rolling down hill so fast.